Everybody Else's Girl
by Patrick Phelan
Summary: Xu and Quistis, across the years.
1. Fourteen

Xu brushed an imaginary spot of lint off her SeeD uniform, and frowned. She knew the uniform was perfect, had spent hours in front of a mirror assuring that it would be so, and yet she worried about it. Thinking about it logically - and Xu always did - it was a ridiculous thing to worry about. A class of cadets three years younger than her were not going to notice if her uniform was slightly dirty. No matter how much she rationalised it away, though, it still annoyed her. By the time she reached the classroom door, she'd decided that it was just stress, and that she was justified to be stressed. Xu was seventeen years old, had been a SeeD for just over a year now, and had been sunk into so much administration by Cid and NORG that she only kept her Rank through scoring well on regular tests. She was not, she thought, the right choice to teach a class, even if it was only a relief.  
  
Their regular teacher had been in the Training Centre, keeping up his skills and his Rank, and had fallen into the old trap of assuming that since he could take on a T-Rexaur, a few Grats should be no problem. Kadowaki had been optimistic that he'd regain his vision within the year, and meanwhile, Xu had been assigned to his class. "Because there's no one I trust more for this," Cid had told her, deeply serious. "All the classes have produced great SeeDs, but I've got a feeling about this one. Two of them have chosen the gunblade as their weapon." Thus having assured Xu that the future of Garden and SeeD were in her hands and her hands alone, and that if she failed in one lesson all of SeeD's great unknown purpose would be lost, Cid had handed her a dossier on every member of the class and wished her luck.  
  
Xu had evaluated contracts that could mean the death or rebirth of nations without a second thought. It was ridiculous that she should worry about teaching thirteen and fourteen year olds, no matter how many gunblade prodigies might be among them. Keeping that in mind, she signalled the door to open, and stepped through.  
  
She identified the two boys in the front of the room instantly. Cid's notes had mentioned them exhaustively, riddled with hints that they were the most promising he'd ever seen, cloaked in words like 'destiny' and 'future'. Physically, they were hard to miss - Almasy's long, grey trenchcoat and Leonhart's leather stood out amongst the other classmates, all of whom were in their cadet uniforms - but the fact that Almasy had finished a long and complicated insult on the other's ancestry by shouting "goddamn Leonhart brat" was more of an indication. Squall was the only Leonhart in the class, and Seifer the only student who would go to such lengths to provoke him.  
  
Squall said nothing in return, but neither did he back down, staring at Seifer like a SeeD staring down an Anacondaur.  
  
Unless Xu missed her mark completely, the blond girl who came up to place her hands on Squall's shoulders was Trepe. Cid had praised her talent and discipline in the notes he had of her, but they seemed to be drowned out by his focus on Seifer and Squall. Her calm under pressure, though, made Xu wonder if Cid had picked the wrong students to focus on.  
  
"Seifer, stop." The way she said it made it sound like a reasonable order to be obeyed. "Squall, don't start. There's no reason for you two to fight now."  
  
"I can't run away," Squall muttered, probably thinking that no one could hear him, "or I won't get to see Sis again."  
  
Allowing a fight to break out before her first class started was not the best way to begin her stint as a relief, Xu believed, and while she might appreciate never having to teach a class again she wanted to do her duty as a SeeD. She took another step forward, allowing her foot to touch the ground a little more heavily this time, a slightly louder tread ringing out through the classroom. The three students turned to face her, so abruptly they almost seemed to jump.  
  
Leonhart looked guilty, trying to cover it with coldness. Almasy didn't even bother trying to disguise thwarted anger. Trepe, though - true to the form Xu expected of her from the little in Cid's notes and her reaction to the two boys fighting, Quistis looked calm with only a bare undertone of worry. Interesting. _Chose the whip, _said Cid's notes, _for a reason she has not mentioned to her instructors_.  
  
"Instructor?" Trepe asked, perfectly polite, sure to use the formal title that Xu _must_ claim.  
  
"Temporarily," Xu replied, smiling, because it seemed a good idea to smile. "Instructor Lan suffered an accident in combat, and will return when his injuries are fully healed." No need to tell them he'd underestimated three Grats, gone in without his GF junctioned and tried to _grapple_ one of them. When Xu thought about that, she was a little less worried about her temporary Instructor-ship. Surely she _had _to do better than the last one. "If you'll all return to your seats, we can start the lesson."  
  
Leonhart remained silent, walking slowly to a seat in the back of the classroom. Almasy seemed to want to challenge him further, but there were some things even Seifer wouldn't do in front of an Instructor - he, too, slouched back to his seat. Close to Leonhart's. Xu had time to wonder whether Almasy stayed close to Leonhart to challenge him constantly or whether he challenged him constantly to stay close to him, before walking to the seat in front of the class and sitting as if she belonged there.  
  
It was the best way to deal with her students, she reasoned.  
  
They _knew_ she didn't belong there, but perhaps she could persuade them otherwise.  
  


* * *

  
"Instructor?"  
  
It was a moment of packing up papers before Xu realised that _she_ was 'Instructor', and thus she turned around far more quickly than she needed to. "Yes," she asked, before noticing the student in front of her and adding, "Quistis?"  
  
The moment she called Cadet Trepe by her first name, Xu realised it had been a bad idea. While there was no point in spending time in regret, there was no way she could go to back to the more formal, proper name now. It was startlingly easy to call Cadet Trepe Quistis, though.  
  
"Do they know how long Instructor Lan will be hospitalised?"  
  
_They're that desperate to get rid of me?_ "I'm afraid they don't. The best indication Doctor Kadowaki can give us is that he should be out before the end of the year. I'm sorry I can't say more."  
  
Quistis nodded. "So do you think we should continue studying for what he teaches, or for the course you laid out?"  
  
"Are they so different? Headmaster Cid didn't give me a lesson plan - he said Instructor Lan didn't work with them. If you could tell me what he taught you, I could change the topics."  
  
"But," Quistis started, and then seemed to consciously recompose herself. "Your lesson plan seems better."  
  
She didn't seem adept at talking to Instructors beyond the pure formal level, which was fine by Xu, as she was far from adept at being an Instructor. "Really?" she asked.  
  
"Instructor Lan focused too much on the basics of physical combat and monsters, in my opinion, leaving out the basics of Guardian Forces, junctioning, and paramagic that makes SeeD what it is," Quistis said, head- down. Her stiff voice made Xu almost think she'd practiced the speech. "Your lesson plan would seem to provide a more well-rounded approach that Instructor Lan's lacked."  
  
All Xu's rationality hadn't managed to erase half as much of her doubt as Cadet Trepe's quiet voice. She was absurdly touched. "Well... thank you, Quistis. I'll talk to Headmaster Cid about it." A brief pause. "Why do you ask?"  
  
Quistis looked up, this time. "I need to study as much as I can. I'm taking the field exam next year."  
  
Xu stared.  
  
"May I be dismissed? The food goes quickly at lunch," Quistis explained.  
  
She nodded, still silent. Quistis brought one hand up, palm in, straight up against her cheek in a textbook SeeD salute, and the classroom door shut behind her as she left.  
  
The moment the doors had closed, Xu flipped through the papers in her hand until she found Cid's notes on the students. Quistis' notes said nothing about any intent to take the field exam, but they did list that she had recently turned fourteen.  
  
_Taking the field exam at fifteen,_ Xu thought to herself. _Even I waited 'til sixteen, and I was the youngest in my class._  
  
She looked up at the closed door, as if trying to see through it and watch Quistis leave.  
  
She was quite sure now. Cid could watch Leonhart and Almasy as much as he wanted. Xu's choice for the most promising student in the class was entirely different.  
  


* * *

  
**Author's Notes and Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the above characters, their situation, _Final Fantasy VIII_, or Tori Amos' "Girl", and make no claims to any of them.  
  
I place the blame for this, as so many other things, squarely on tight pants.  
  
Wait. No. I'm trying to say I blame Baconfat, whose FFVIII fanfic can be found in my Favourite Authors list, or through a search, or at . We were discussing songs and FFVIII, and Baconfat suggested that someone do this, and so I did. If you like it, or even if you don't, check out Baconfat's fic... if you can manage not to read the entire VINDICO arc in one sitting, you're a tougher person than I. Though probably not as happy. 


	2. Fifteen

"Hey, are you waiting for someone?"  
  
Xu looked up, though not very far. The SeeD who had asked the question was looking up at her, an eager-to-please expression on his young face, and Xu knew instantly that he'd just put on the uniform ten minutes ago. He was obviously still washed away in the combined waves of awe, overwhelming pride, and mortal terror. He was sixteen, Xu assumed - a little younger than average, for a new SeeD, but certainly not unheard of. Xu herself had made SeeD at sixteen.  
  
"I'm just asking 'cause the ball's already started, and..."  
  
"Thank you," Xu replied, her professional SeeD smile on her face. "I'm fine."  
  
He nodded nervously, and then ducked away: she watched him walk quickly into the ballroom, and wondered for a moment why she wasn't doing the same.  
  
_Hey, am I waiting for someone?_  
  
"Xu!"  
  
And there was Quistis, her uniform immaculate - of course it was, she'd never worn it before.  
  
Xu smiled, a much more sincere smile than she'd given the other SeeD, and raised her hand. "Hello, Quistis," she said, walking towards her. They were used to each other's first names by now: Instructor Lan had recovered much faster than Dr. Kadowaki had expected, and relieved Xu of her relief position, teaching the SeeD cadets himself from the great wisdom that had gotten him hospitalised. Quistis sometimes quietly admitted to Xu, during their games of Triple Triad, that she'd much rather Xu had taken the position permanently. Xu had laughed, and said that she'd rather not deal with Almasy's private war with Leonhart for another few years.  
  
Almasy had been even more intolerable than usual that day. The moment he'd heard that Quistis was attempting the field exam, he'd signed up for testing himself. He'd never admitted why, but Xu thought she knew - there was no way he'd let any member of his class outdo him, no way he'd let Quistis become SeeD before he did. Xu was a little ashamed of the satisfaction she'd felt when Seifer had failed, but she couldn't deny that she'd felt it.  
  
Besides, it barely brought her a fraction of the satisfaction - and, she admitted, joy as well - she'd felt on hearing that Quistis had become SeeD. As young as any SeeD who qualified to take the exam, and she'd made it. Xu, for all her happiness, was barely surprised at all.  
  
Quistis didn't hug her. Xu had only been her friend for half a year, but that had been long enough to realise that Quistis was never anything but decorous, even with her closest friends: speech always perfect, clothes always perfect, even down to her precise laugh. Xu accepted that as a part of her friend's personality, but secretly, her greatest joys were the moments where Quistis laughed a little too hard, or said something beyond "Goodness"... seeing Quistis as Quistis, rather than Trepe, the SeeD Rank 8 the world expected.  
  
_Of course_, Xu reflected, _a lot of it isn't really an act... but she's still being who everybody else wants her to be._  
  
"Shall we go in?" she asked, offering Quistis her hand.  
  
Quistis took it, and it was only the moment they passed through the double-doors that Xu realised: she was walking into a ball with Quistis on her arm. The implication was something she hadn't even considered before, but in the brief few seconds before Quistis' classmates approached her, she wondered if it pleased her or not.  
  
Xu didn't know the first few by faces, nor did she really notice the streams of compliments they paid her (for a moment, she wondered if the last boy had _really_ muttered "of course, you're all just playing into my hands" after his one-sentence congratulations, but put it out of her mind). The last two, on the other hand...  
  
Leonhart had said, simply, "Good work", and then turned away before Quistis could thank him.  
  
Almasy was more complicated. His expression was a war between two emotions, struggling so fiercely that Xu could make out neither. In the end, he said "Leonhart said it. You passed," and turned away himself, in a different direction. His words were civil - if barely - but his tone made it a considered insult. In a brief moment of anger, Xu almost lunged after him. Quistis laid a hand on her arm, just a quiet touch, and Xu realised that she might have been closer to making that lunge than she'd thought.  
  
She also realised that, implications or not, she enjoyed having Quistis' hand on her arm.  
  
Before she knew she was doing it, she was considering asking Quistis to dance. After all, Quistis was one of four SeeDs who had graduated, one of four SeeDs this ball celebrated. Before the night was over, she'd likely be asked to dance ten or more times, and why shouldn't one of those invitations come from her closest friend? She'd _taught_ Quistis to dance, was it so strange that she should ask her to demonstrate the skills she'd learnt, just once?  
  
She wondered, for a moment, how Quistis would react. For a SeeD to dance with a partner of the same sex wasn't expressly forbidden at SeeD balls, but it never happened - _custom_ would look down on it, and the dancers would likely receive stern censures from Garden Faculty members with their faces concealed in the shadows of their hats. Even though it wasn't what everyone else expected, what everyone else _wanted_, might Quistis agree to dance?  
  
"Certainly," Quistis said, with a smile, and Xu looked at her with some shock.  
  
While she had been trying to justify asking Quistis to dance, a boy she hadn't noticed had offered his hand, and always-professional Quistis had accepted it. She smiled to Xu for a moment, and then walked with him onto the dance floor, and Xu tried to persuade herself that the sick, angry feeling rising in her stomach _wasn't_ jealousy. But if not jealousy... then what?  
  
Without thinking about it, she took a flute of Garden-function champagne from the hired caterer, and watched Quistis dance.  
  
Of course, she did it perfectly. That was no surprise at all. When Xu had been teaching her, she had stumbled, and tripped, and occasionally giggled a great deal over a wrong step, but before she had ever tried to dance in public, she'd practiced until she was perfect. She had a natural grace, too, that made her seem like she was dancing even when she walked, and made her deadly with her whip. She was a credit to SeeD in all things, and watching her, Xu felt a strange sense of pride rise to join the other feeling _not jealousy not jealousy not jealousy at all_.  
  
And then Quistis and her barely-noticeable partner took a step to the right, and Xu found her eyes locked with Seifer Almasy.  
  
When he noticed her, he looked back, challenge easily visible in his eyes... and in the end, it was Xu who had to look away. He almost _smirked_ at that, and then turned back to his conversation. A short grey-haired girl and a large dark skinned boy were hanging on to his every word. Xu had seen neither of them around Garden, and both were very noticeable.  
  
Maybe it was the champagne, though Xu had been drinking the occasional social glass of wine for two years now and certainly didn't get even slightly drunk on one glass of Garden-function champagne. Maybe it was Almasy's arrogance, the self-importance that she'd dealt with for her entire term as relief Instructor. Maybe it was because she hadn't asked Quistis to dance. At any rate, she set down her half-empty glass of champagne, and walked purposefully around the dance floor to where Almasy and his posse stood.  
  
"Instructor," he said, upon seeing her. The title certainly had no respect in it; quite the opposite, it was a challenge.  
  
"Not any more, Cadet Almasy," Xu responded. The girl and the boy were looking at her - a moment of shock, as Xu realised the girl only had one eye - and Xu started to feel that it had been a bad idea to bother with Seifer, over such a tiny thing. But she was committed now. "Why did you speak as you did to SeeD Trepe?"  
  
Almasy seemed to take a moment to remember, and Xu knew that this was a stupid thing to get angry over... but she _was_. When he spoke, it was with the same challenge, the same arrogance, the same barely-repressed anger, as flowed through everything he did. "Was that a problem, Instructor?" She considered reminding him that she wasn't _Instructor_, but that was undoubtedly what he wanted. "She passed, and that's all I said."  
  
"Do you resent SeeD Trepe?" She used all the cold, dispassionate non-feeling she could put into her voice - SeeDs were occasionally required to be interrogaters, and Xu had done very well at that.  
  
"Why would I resent Trepe, Instructor? I have four more years to become SeeD."  
  
_But you wanted to be **first**, you arrogant ass, and it shows._ "No reason. Carry on, Cadet Almasy." She stalked away, then, and used the best of her patience to pretend she didn't hear what Almasy was saying to his posse about her.  
  
The music came to a finish, with a few brief violin strings, and the audience applauded. Xu picked up her glass, and watched the dancers disperse, feeling the sick knot of _not jealousy_ disperse as Quistis took a flute of champagne and came to her, her perfectly straight stance seeming to be at odds with her genuine smile. Quistis' smile, not SeeD Rank 8 Trepe's.  
  
"Xu?" she said, a half-question that served as the prelude to a real one.  
  
"Yes, Quistis?" Xu replied.  
  
"Can I have our picture taken?"  
  
It was such an unexpected request that for a moment Xu had no response, and Quistis took that moment to give her explanation. "Tomorrow I have my first mission. Three other SeeDs and I are tracking down Galbadian deserters in FH. SeeD aren't particularly welcome there, so the mission may go on for some time..." _she smiles so sweetly,_ Xu thought, disjointed, _even when she's nervous_... "and you're my best friend here, and I'll miss you. I'd like to have a photo of us."  
  
Xu still paused, for a moment, just to work out whether Quistis meant... anything besides what she had said. Quistis' expression seemed just about to change, the smile about to give way to something else, and that finished Xu's decision for her. "Certainly, Quistis," she said.  
  
Quistis - or maybe SeeD Rank 8 Trepe - did a very good job of hiding her emotions, but Xu still saw the relief and happiness in her expression, and wondered why it touched her so strongly.  
  
They posed together for the photographers, and when Quistis stood a little too close to Xu for the kind of photograph she'd mentioned, Xu noticed, and found herself surprised that it made her glad.  
  


* * *

  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the above characters, their situation, _Final Fantasy VIII_, or Tori Amos' "Girl", and make no claims to any of them. 


	3. Sixteen

Xu's schedule for the three hours after the officially-determined SeeD lunch hour said "free time". Being the young woman she was, free time meant working in the Training Centre to preserve her skills and have a decent "kill list" to show off to NORG when the time came to evaluate her Rank, even if most of them were Grats. Quantity was what NORG wanted, and if he saw the occasional T-Rexaur, so much the better.  
  
It was only in these periods that her GF was awake, these days. She tried her best to keep her compatibility with Olympia strong, but most of the time Xu sorted paperwork and Olympia lounged in her hindbrain, half-asleep.  
  
Now, though, Olympia was whispering tactics to her near-constantly, pointing out weak spots in Grat tentacles that Xu slammed with the heel of her hand, shouting the assigned names of paramagic spells in Xu's voice as Xu let them fly from her hands. Sometimes, Xu was shocked by the blend of calm and viciousness that the GF in her head exhibited. Most of the time, she found it wonderfully freeing - when she worked at payroll duty so long that Olympia told her, _you could blow them all into a frenzy and out of the window with an Aero, or burn them to ash with a Fire, or render them inky and illegible with Water,_ she found herself wishing she could, and yearning for the release of the Training Centre.  
  
There were always enough Grats there to keep her occupied, running in a flood into her Aeros, and then into her hands and feet. Perhaps they thought that a seemingly unarmed SeeD was an easy target, but even without the fighting gloves a great deal of SeeDs preferred, Xu was as deadly as a gunblader.  
  
She threw a Tornado into three Grats charging at her and readied herself to the next, when Olympia shouted in her head; _Behind you!_  
  
She turned, and saw two more Grats rushing at her, waving their tentacles and 'speaking' gibberish - she slammed a chop into one, rendering a single tentacle useless, and kicked it in the side of what served it for a head. It went down, burbling, and when she turned to the other, she was surprised to see it already falling.  
  
Then a very familiar whip point came back from the body into the hands of a very familiar SeeD.  
  
"Hello again, Xu," Quistis said, for all the world as if she'd only been gone for an hour, rather than a half-year mission to a place in which SeeDs were never welcome.  
  
"Regulation 26E," Xu replied, for all the world as if seeing Quistis again wasn't the most wonderful thing that had happened to her in the year, "states that SeeD training battles, whether in the Centre or otherwise, are not to be interfered with without the personal permission of the SeeD who initiated the battle, through attacking or being attacked, unless the SeeD is in mortal danger."  
  
Quistis laughed at that one, and then stepped decorously forward through the Grat bodies. Xu expected a pat on the shoulder, perhaps a quick clasp of hands, but Quistis surprised her by wrapping her arms around her for a quick hug. "I _missed_ you," she said into Xu's ear.  
  
Xu had to fight the urge to bring her arms around Quistis' waist and hold her close as long as humanly possible. She squeezed the other girl close for a moment, and then stepped away. "I should probably change my clothes," she said in half an explanation, gesturing at two tiny spots of Grat blood on the side of her jacket.  
  
"Should I meet you in the library?" Quistis asked.  
  
Xu shook her head. "Don't bother, really! You can come back to my dorm. Quieter, and I really want to speak to you."  
  
"But didn't you say you had to change?" _Quistis the Ever-Demure_, thought Xu. She was surprised that Quistis had done anything so indecorous as to hug her, but very pleasantly so.  
  
"As a Faculty Assistant, I'm in the Instructors' quarters. We have personal bathrooms."  
  
"Such _luxury_," Quistis said. "I should take the test."  
  
"You _should_," said Xu, surprising herself with her vehemence. "You'd be a much better Instructor than most of the ones we have now, even if you _are_ young. You're a credit to SeeD as you are, and you'd make for a marvelous Instructor."  
  
"Well," said Quistis, and linked her arm with Xu's. "Maybe I will."  
  


* * *

  
Quistis placed one of her many Caterchipillar cards in the centre square, and leaned back. "Your turn."  
  
Xu took a sip from her tea and contemplated the sparse board. They always played with the Same and Plus rules in effect - "without them, the game is just who's got the better cards", Xu had once said - and one of Quistis' favourite tactics was to place a weak card in the centre space and lure Xu to take it. After that, she'd have a good base to work Same and Plus from. "How much combat was there in your mission?" Xu asked, while she thought.  
  
"Very little, thankfully," said Quistis, sipping her own tea. She'd made it herself - she always insisted on making the tea when they met, even though Xu always offered. "We were very lucky."  
  
Xu laid an Iron Giant card down. "You were tracking down Galbadian deserters, weren't you?"  
  
"Yes," Quistis replied, laying down another card. "One had gone into hiding with an FH resident. When we discovered him, he gave up without a struggle. I think the FH ideals had sunk in to him. He strongly resists extradition and wishes to be tried by an international court, but I don't believe we can offer that."  
  
Xu nodded, and laid down one of her own cards. Quistis immediately set down a Tonberry and flipped all the cards on the board to her colour, with a Plus combo Xu had not anticipated at all.  
  
"Another had been making a walking trip to Esthar, but she misjudged the distance. We found her dehydrated and half-starved. She was in no condition to fight even if she'd wanted to. We had to keep her alive with a Regen spell until we could get her into hospital. She's thankful for her life, but she resents us for stopping her escape attempt. She, too, strongly resists extradition."  
  
Xu tentatively laid down a card. Quistis flipped it over with a much stronger one.  
  
"The last... had made his way along the _other_ side of the Horizon Bridge, back to Galbadia. We had to track him down, and then spread out to find him. When we did, SeeD Rank 7 Callen and I were the only two in range. SeeD Callen attacked with a Sleep spell, which didn't take effect. He attacked SeeD Callen with a Fira spell, and followed that up with a blast of machine-gun fire. Even with his GF working through him, SeeD Callen was knocked down by the attack. I used a Life spell to keep him conscious and alive, and engaged the enemy with my whip. I managed to disarm him of his sword, and then used a Demi to weaken him before using a Sleep spell to end the battle. I assume we were then brought back to the hospital."  
  
"You _assume_?" Xu asked, still wondering which of the two remaining places was the best to use her last-ditch effort.  
  
"Well, I was unconscious at the time," Quistis said.  
  
"You were _hit_?" Xu asked. "You didn't mention that."  
  
Quistis tapped the right side of her abdomen. "Here. Two bullets. My GF kept me alive long enough to get me to the hospital, and I assume the other SeeDs bolstered that with Cure spells. The soldier wouldn't talk to me when I visited his hospital bed, and had been restrained."  
  
_SeeD came so close to losing her,_ Xu thought, and chose to ignore that originally the first word in that sentence had been _I_. She laid down her Gilgamesh card in the top centre of the board, and Quistis laid down her last card, activating another Plus combo that turned the entire board blue once again.  
  
"You're a credit to SeeD and a _consummate_ card player," Xu said, shaking her head, and was silent for a moment before deciding to add, "and I am _so_ proud of you."  
  
"Well, thank you," Quistis replied, and... _is she **blushing**?_ Xu thought to herself. It wasn't particularly surprising - Quistis tended to react that way to the compliments she received all too infrequently.  
  
"We're playing by the One trade rule, aren't we?" asked Xu, looking over her demolished cards.  
  
"Oh, I don't think that's necessary..."  
  
"I insist. And if you _dare_ take a card besides Gilgamesh because you feel sorry for me..."  
  
Quistis laughed, and picked up Gilgamesh, sorting the card into her hand as she picked up her other cards. Then she looked at Xu, smiled for a moment, and handed the card back. "As I recall, I forgot to get you something from FH. Here's a souvenir."  
  
Xu smiled in return, and just as promptly handed the card back. "I forgot to get you something myself. Here's a welcome home present, Quistis."  
  
Quistis held the Gilgamesh card for a moment, before bursting into sudden laughter and very nearly upsetting her tea. Xu leaned back, smiling, and thinking what a wonderful thing Quistis' laughter was.  
  


* * *

  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the above characters, their situation, _Final Fantasy VIII_, or Tori Amos' "Girl", and make no claims to any of them. 


	4. Seventeen

**SEVENTEEN**  
  
_A SeeD,_ Xu reminded herself, _is calm and unruffled in any circumstances. She is near-impossible to faze. Everything she sees, she sees with an objectivity that approaches disdain. She **certainly** does not grow so used to her Faculty Assistant's quarters that she feels cramped and uncomfortable in the standard SeeD dorm..._  
  
"I'm sorry about this," Quistis said, shifting a chair in the gap between her tiny bed and the wall. There was really nothing else she _could_ shift - her dorm was meticulously clean, even sparse. Xu had never even seen a book lying around, though she knew Quistis read voraciously and had borrowed over half of the Garden library over the course of her study. (She was always very punctual with late fees.) "I wish I could offer you tea, but the communal kitchen's being used and I don't think the kettle's been washed..."  
  
"It isn't a problem," Xu said, smiling. "Besides, you'll be moving into a bigger place when you get your Instructor's licence, right?"  
  
Quistis stopped moving for a moment, looking at the floor. "I'd rather not get my hopes up," she said.  
  
_How very Quistis of you. I don't know if that makes me happy because of how **you** it is or if it makes me worry because you're selling yourself short..._  
  
Quistis decided to neglect the chair she'd so carefully moved, and sat down on the side of her bed. Xu, not quite knowing what to say (_of course you've passed the test, of course you'll get that room, of course you'll get your licence, you're **Quistis Trepe**_),sat beside Quistis, and Quistis surprised her by leaning over and resting her head on Xu's shoulder.  
  
"I can't stand not knowing," Quistis murmured, sounding almost too tired to say anything else. "Every minute I think about another question I probably missed. I wish they'd just come around and tell me I've failed."  
  
"They won't," Xu said. As a trained SeeD negotiator, she could have lied instantly, brilliantly, utterly believably. And yet, she couldn't imagine lying then. It would have been... inexcusable.  
  
And somehow, she found her arm around Quistis' shoulders, and Quistis resting her entire side against Xu. Even silent, it was strangely comfortable. Xu took a moment to wonder why she hadn't held Quistis before this... and then, almost selfishly, to wonder how long she could keep the moment going, how long she could keep Quistis all to herself, how long she could remain warm and comfortable in a cramped SeeD dormitory.  
  
She didn't count the minutes, but when a knock came at the door, she thought that there hadn't been enough of them. Quistis extricated herself from Xu's arm, and walked to answer her door.  
  
The visitor was a SeeD, somewhere between Quistis' and Xu's age, in full uniform and carrying an envelope. "SeeD Rank 12 Quistis Trepe?" he asked.  
  
"I am," Quistis said, nodding.  
  
The SeeD was well-trained - he only allowed his eyes to flick to the girl sitting on Quistis' bed once before presenting the envelope. "This is from the Faculty." He stepped back, and saluted. "Congratulations."  
  
"Thank you," Quistis said, looking up. As the SeeD walked away, she closed the door behind him.  
  
"Congratulations?" she asked, turning to Xu, and trying not to let any excitement show on her face.  
  
Xu, unsurprised, stood to stand beside Quistis as she opened the envelope, pulling out the three sheets of thick paper within.  
  
The writing on the first was short and to-the-point, as all Garden communications were: _SeeD Rank 12 Quistis Trepe - This letter is sent to inform you that you have passed the Instructor Qualification Test with a score of **96%**. Enclosed is your licence and replacement ID card. **You must destroy your old ID card at your earliest convenience.** With congratulations - Garden Faculty._  
  
As promised, there was a card affixed to the paper, with the unsmiling photo of Quistis that she publically hated and Xu privately thought was beautiful, and printed besides it: _Quistis Trepe, Rank 12, Instructor_.  
  
"Which are the other two papers?" Xu asked, and Quistis flipped the paper over with almost a hint of giddiness in her manner. From the very respectable SeeD Rank 12 Trepe - _Instructor_ Trepe - _giddiness_ was something entirely strange.  
  
"One's from Headmaster Cid," she said, looking over it. "A personal letter of congratulations. It says I came highly recommended, that I'll be the youngest Instructor in the recent past, and that he's looking forward to seeing how the job suits me." She looked to Xu, smiling as if she should be laughing. "Is he complimenting me or saying he'll be testing me?"  
  
"_Cid_ is complimenting you," Xu said, with an answering smile. This was Quistis' victory, of course it was, but Xu felt as proud as if it were hers. "_NORG_ is testing you. And you've already shown that you're more than up to the task."  
  
Quistis did laugh at that, and then turned to the last piece of paper - gorgeously embossed, with calligraphic writing over it. "My licence," she said, looking at it almost reverently.  
  
"You should have it framed," Xu said. _Have it framed and put it on the wall above your bed, where anyone who enters this room can see it, and recognise that this is Quistis Trepe's room. You deserve to be able to show off for this._  
  
"I will," Quistis said, nodding. She walked, very proper, over to the bed, and set down her precious papers, before turning back and asking, "Xu?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Would you mind if... may I..." She paused, trying to think of a way to better word what she was trying to say, and then visibly made a decision. She walked, still as careful and decorous as ever, across the tiny room, coming very close to Xu - Xu would almost have called it uncomfortably close, if it wasn't for the fact that it was quite comfortable indeed. And hesitantly, Quistis raised her arms, and put them gently around Xu.  
  
The hug started polite and formal, the sort of hug exchanged on the street between acquaintances... and then, as if on a preordained signal, Quistis' arms pulled tighter, and she leaned against Xu with a sigh, and _comfortably close_ was the perfect word for it.  
  


* * *

  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the above characters, their situation, Final Fantasy VIII, or Tori Amos' "Girl", and make no claims to any of them. 


	5. Eighteen

Almost all SeeD cadets showed a nearly morbid interest in the blood of monsters. Xu remembered, many times, breaking up a group hanging around outside a Xenobiology class and discussing in firelight ghost story voices if Grendels bled green, or if Ruby Dragon blood boiled, or if Malboro blood was even more poisonous than Malboro breath. Earlier than that - though those memories were hazy - she remembered _being_ in one of those groups, and stating with absolute conviction that Gayla blood was highly acidic and would burn a SeeD's arm off to the elbow.  
  
If Xu was in one of those groups now, she could say with firsthand experience that the blood of Blue Dragons was, indeed, blue, and thick, and that it spouted from almost any wound dealt to the dragon and stuck to skin and clothes.  
  
The dragon's blood spattered over Quistis' clothes somehow made her no less impressive. She seemed not to dance through the Blue Dragons that charged at the Ragnarok, but almost to _walk_ through them, seeming to expend no effort, to find a perfect path through teeth and claws and poison breath and strike without fear of reprisal. The point of her whip always found an eye, or a throat, or another undefended area. Xu remembered an excellent Training Centre fighter, but the woman in front of her seemed almost like a GF.  
  
As Quistis turned to engage one of the few dragons left, Xu raised her hand to her head, and pointed outwards. Within herself, she saw a temple built a thousand years ago, and a priestess sitting in its centre, closed-eyed, and as Xu's eyes closed Olympia's opened, and she rode out on hurricane winds to hurl a storm of javelins at the dragons before them. As two fell, Quistis turned and snapped her whip into the eye of the third, which reared back screaming before toppling over.  
  
Quistis turned to face Xu, and smiled. "Thank you."  
  
"I broke Regulation 26F, didn't I?" Xu replied, smiling herself.  
  
Quistis replied with something that might have been _I won't hold it against you_, but her voice was drowned out by a viciously loud roar. Another dragon, scales not sapphire but _ruby_, was making its way around the blind side of the Ragnarok, with a mouth full of fire. Quistis raised her whip and muttered the first few words of a paramagical spell, and Xu reached out to touch Olympia again, and then the side of the Ruby Dragon was riddled with holes, and Xu only noticed that the Ragnarok's grand cannon had been firing as it spun to a halt.  
  
"BOOYAKA!" shouted Selphie from the cockpit, and Xu relaxed. Quistis laughed, and started walking back towards the Ragnarok. Xu paused for only a moment, to Firaga the dragon corpses into a pyre, and then followed her.  
  


* * *

  
_Regulation 108A_, Xu invented, sitting just outside the Ragnarok's single bathroom and listening to the shower. _A SeeD shall ensure that any and all lost dragon-spaceships she brings to the Planet from orbit have more than one shower cubicle, to ensure that multiple SeeDs on board can shower at the same time without the very thought making them rather uncomfortable._  
  
There was no Regulation 108A. Xu reminded herself to advise Cid to take it on board, though she decided to drop Regulation 108B: _Even if it is a good kind of uncomfortable, because that simply makes the SeeD in question even more uncomfortable._  
  
"What is this island, anyway?" she called to Quistis.  
  
"From all we can work out, it's the site of a Lunar Cry from long before the Sorceress War. The area isn't inhabited, so no one's been here to keep the monster population down. Thus, the island is heavily populated with powerful monsters. An early explorer who went here once suggested that surely this was the island closest to Hell, and the name stuck."  
  
Xu remembered a few mentions of the Island Closest to Hell in Garden, but only a very few. SeeD had no operations here - far too dangerous. "Then why are we here?"  
  
"Squall wants to upgrade our weapons before we return to the castle, and Doomtrain needs rare items to do it. Apparently, a great deal of those items can be found here." The shower stopped running, and Xu heard the door slide aside. "Also, the island is an abundant source of paramagic. Even more so than the Deep Sea Research Centre."  
  
That reminded Xu of Quistis telling the story of their trip into the Centre, and of transferring her Curagas soon after meeting Quistis on the Ragnarok. There had been a _power_ inside Quistis' mind, something strong enough to shock Olympia into total silence, and Xu had experienced a brief hallucination - she had been standing on a great blue disc, with the universe stretching out on all sides of her, and a voice had echoed from all sides: _I AM EDEN_.  
  
_And that GF - much though it seems it could rend the universe asunder should it so choose - is the least of her growth. She's changed in so many ways since she last left Garden._ Xu paused, and re-evaluated her thoughts. _No, it was since the mission to Timber. I've not seen her nearly enough since then, but I was fighting with Garden administration - especially after NORG - and she was... saving the world, it seems._  
  
"I'm very sorry about this," Quistis said, emerging through the door in a cleaner outfit.  
  
"About what?" Xu asked.  
  
"About..." Quistis started, and then laughed humourlessly. "Where to begin? Thanks to me, you're stuck in a time compressed world where as far as we know, no one but us and the monsters is alive."  
  
"No." Xu shook her head. "_I'm_ sorry. I should have been with you from the start."  
  
Quistis smiled, and they walked back towards her quarters.  
  
"What are your plans now?" Xu asked.  
  
"When we have all our weapons upgraded, Squall intends for us to spend one more day..." Quistis laughed again, with just as little humour. "I apologise. Twenty four more hours by the ship's clock, whatever that would turn out to be in this world, to rest and consult and see if we are ready. If we decide we are, we will return to the door to Ultimecia's place and time, storm her castle, and kill her. Hopefully, if we are successful, Time Compression will never have happened."  
  
"I should come with you," Xu said, suprising herself with her rashness. Xu _never_ made a decision like that without hours of careful thought.  
  
Quistis shook her head. "I'm afraid that wouldn't work out."  
  
"What else can I do?"  
  
"Xu..." A pause. "If we are _not_ successful, there will need to be another path we can follow. There might be more doors, like the ones that lead to the castle. One might lead you home, or to another time that you can work from. We need to stop Ultimecia _somehow_."  
  
Outwardly, Xu remained completely silent, but her thoughts were in a roil. _I'm insurance in the case of your death? To find some door that likely doesn't exist, to lead a team that would have none of your brilliance to a similarly impossible task? Oh, Quistis, I want to fight with you...  
  
...but you are Quistis Trepe, and I will let you decide for yourself._  
  
"Very well," she said, eventually, and Quistis smiled the smile of a woman condemned to death.  
  


* * *

  
"Well," Quistis said to Xu, thirty one nonexistent hours later. She paused after that, and seemed stuck for a continuation.  
  
_Wish me luck?_ Xu thought. _I'll see you when the world is saved? Remember me to Cid and Edea? I'll miss you?_  
  
"I'm sorry, again, Xu," Quistis said.  
  
"Don't be," Xu replied.  
  
Quistis raised a hand, in a gesture of farewell that was not and could never be significant enough for such an important event. Hesitantly, she turned to go.  
  
"Wait," said Xu, making the fastest decision of her life, and caught Quistis' wrist, and kissed her.  
  
For a brief period, there was complete silence.  
  
"Good luck," said Xu, rather lamely.  
  
"Thank you," said Quistis, smiling warmly. She touched Xu's wrist for a moment, a gesture that felt far more intimate than it had any right to.  
  
Then she turned, and went to fight the battle for time itself.  
  
_Regulation 109A_, Xu thought to herself. _A SeeD shall make a decision if she wants to kiss another SeeD far in advance, so that a global Apocalypse shall not make the decision for her._ She paused for a moment, and then thought of another one. _Regulation 109B, a SeeD shall not be an **idiot**._  
  
She walked out of the door, to sit in the cockpit and wait for Quistis to come back.  
  



	6. Nineteen

"Hey, are you waiting for someone?"  
  
_Time Compression_, Xu thought. She was twenty-two, Ultimecia was defeated, Esthar and Galbadia were divvying up the world between them and snarling at each other as they did, all of Garden was uneasily celebrating the return of a young revolutionary (_SeeD Rank 9 Almasy_, would wonders never cease?), and a just-promoted SeeD seemed to know she was waiting for Quistis. But at the same time, she was eighteen, no one had heard of Ultimecia, Galbadia was misusing its military and Esthar was locked away behind a forcefield, all of Garden was gathered for yet another SeeD ball, and a just promoted SeeD seemed to know she was waiting for Quistis. Even without insane Sorceresses from the future, memory played its own tricks on Time. Xu wondered if she should write a paper.  
  
And, incredibly, he was continuing, the exact same words and phrases: "I'm just asking 'cause the ball's already started, and..."  
  
"Thank you," Xu read her line, smiling her professional smile. "I'm fine."  
  
She watched him walk into the ballroom, and wondered how long it would be before another young SeeD turned up and asked her the same question, read the same lines. The SeeD from Quistis' ball, who'd asked the same question - how old was he now? What Rank? How many missions? Was he still alive?  
  
_Hey, am I waiting for someone?_  
  
But Quistis didn't appear, and that was probably for the best. If Quistis had appeared in that Time Compressed moment, Xu would have expected a fifteen year old, in her first SeeD uniform, smiling the dizzy smile of a new SeeD, who would very decorously not hug her before they entered the ballroom arm-in-arm. And if they'd reflected in a mirror, Xu would see herself as twenty-two and eighteen, Quistis as nineteen and fifteen, both of them as ageless as Ultimecia.  
  
It was for the best. Quistis, ever-punctual Quistis, was probably already inside. Nineteen, of course nineteen, a Rank A SeeD who'd saved the world from the Sorceress and Time Compression and _Hey, are you waiting for someone_ forever. When Xu was nineteen, she'd been a fairly good Triple Triad player, and Quistis had already been better than her.  
  
She went through the doors with nobody on her arm.  
  
This ball, Cid had decided - with more than a little nudging from the Garden Festival Committee, which was to say Selphie - would be for more than the new SeeDs. It would be for the Sorceress Team, and the end of Time Compression, and the salvation of the world. Certainly, Cid remarked, there had already been an event in celebration, but why not make it more formal? And so the ball was thrice as extravagant as Quistis' ball, and twice as much as last year's, when the completely unremarkable SeeD Rank 7 gunblader Leonhart had been welcomed into the fold, and Quistis had spent an hour before the ball in Xu's room, quietly numb at the loss of her Instructor's license. The lights of the previous balls had glittered, while the lights of this one nearly blinded. The band - almost an orchestra - played the same traditional Balamb songs and SeeD anthems, and the floor was thick with dancers. SeeD Rank 9 Almasy, of course, was in the centre of the dance floor, consummately dancing with Sorceress Heartilly, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. Commander Leonhart was off to one side, his expression unreadable. Of the three of them, only Rinoa seemed to be enjoying herself, and from what she knew of the girl, Xu thought Rinoa could enjoy herself on the Bika Snowfield.  
  
_Everything shines but the people,_ Xu thought, with some humour.  
  
She herself had no real care for the dancing, and no desire to celebrate a traitor who hadn't been a good man even when he'd been loyal. Four years ago, Quistis had smiled in a photograph, and if not for that smile, Xu would have asked Cid to make her apologies for her at the SeeD ball as she had _far_ too much paperwork to do.  
  
Instead, she smiled at Cid, and walked over when he beckoned her to join him. He was standing with a glass of wine in his hand, talkiing with Edea, and Martine, and - of all people - the Esthari President Loire and his two chief advisors, all of whom looked ridiculous in Esthari formal outfits. Privately, Xu thought the President would look rather ridiculous in whatever he wore.  
  
"Of course, Garden intends to work very closely with Esthar, now that you've opened your borders," Cid said, and Loire nodded appreciatively, for all the world like a twelve year old who'd just been told he could join a special club. "I feel we have a great deal in common. Xu, have you met President Loire?"  
  
She had, once, soon after Quistis' return from Time Compression. He'd challenged her to a card game, she'd beaten him soundly, and he'd looked so hangdog that she'd taken a Belhelmel card instead of his prized rare card. (Why _had_ he owned a Squall Leonhart card? Who had painted it?) She smiled, and extended her hand. "It's always a pleasure, Mr. President."  
  
"Oh, hey," he replied, shaking. "Was it... hang on, I've got this, I never forget a face... Nida?"  
  
"...Xu," Xu replied, holding back laughter.  
  
"Xu! That's right. Hey, it's really good to see you again! We should have another game of cards!"  
  
It was impossible not to like a man who had fond memories of losing a card game 9-0. "I would be honoured," she said, smiling. "I'm afraid I'm needed at the moment, though - do any of you know where Quistis is?"  
  
"Quistis," Laguna mused. "Was Quistis the short guy with the pointy hair?"  
  
"She's out on the balcony, last I saw," said Kiros, in between rolling his eyes at his President.  
  
"Oh, _her_," Laguna said, chagrined.  
  
Xu thanked them, bowed to the President, saluted Cid, and walked away.  
  
The dancers didn't part for her, and Xu didn't expect them to. She walked around the edges, around people gathered in tight knots of conversation. Selphie physically caught her sleeve as she passed and managed to extract a sworn promise that Xu would assist with this year's Garden Festival ("it's going to be the best _ever_!"), and Irvine flirted with her for a moment before Selphie turned up and threatened him with Tonberry. Finally, she reached the edge of the room, and looked out to the balcony.  
  
Quistis, decked out in full, formal SeeD regalia, was leaning on the balcony's edge, looking into the sky. For all Xu could tell, she was counting the stars. It was not at all like Quistis to attend an event and then duck out within the first ten minutes, not at all like her to not even pretend to listen to Cid's conversation. Xu took a flute of champagne from an attendant and walked out to join Quistis.  
  
Quistis didn't notice her until she laid a hand softly on her shoulder.  
  
"Hello again, Quistis," Xu said.  
  
"Hello, Xu," Quistis replied, not turning around.  
  
Xu walked around, leaning against the balcony next to her. "What are you thinking?"  
  
Quistis drew in breath for a moment. "That I'm very lucky," she said, still looking up.  
  
Four years ago, Xu would have been as decorous as Quistis, and would have let that slide past her. But she'd hugged Quistis in her room, and kissed her on the Ragnarok, and memory's false Time Compression didn't bring _everything_ together. "You don't look like you think you're lucky," she said, quietly.  
  
"You're right," Quistis said, after a pause. "I'm really thinking that I _should_ think I'm lucky."  
  
A moment's silence.  
  
"Do you know that Cid restored my license?" she said. "I'm Instructor Trepe again. Cid said that the Faculty expected to be able to move me off active duty and back into the classrooms within the next year. I've only got one more mission scheduled."  
  
She passed Xu a slip of paper, and Xu read it over quickly. She was more than familiar with printed SeeD orders. "From within SeeD," she noted. "You're to negotiate a full treaty of integration with the White SeeDs."  
  
"The SeeDs at Ultimecia's castle wore White SeeD uniforms," Quistis said. "I don't understand Time Compression or time travel or _whatever_ happened to us, but I told Cid that maybe it was - is - important to have the White SeeDs on our side to prevent future events, and maybe we _need_ the White SeeDs just because we have them in future. He said that was very clever and gave me this mission."  
  
"A little anticlimactic, after saving the world," Xu said.  
  
Quistis nodded, and spoke with much more passion. "That's _exactly_ what I was thinking. One day I'm with you on Ragnarok, then I'm with Squall and I'm fighting Ultimecia, and... in a week, I'm going to the White SeeD ship alone, and I'm going to negotiate a treaty, and then I'll be teaching cadets again." Her voice fell, again. "I just thought there would be more."  
  
For a moment, they watched the stars together, in silence.  
  
"I want to say something," Xu said, "and it will sound trite, and saccharine, and stupid. I will be in serious danger of breaking Regulation 109B, and you know that I follow regulations as closely as I possibly can."  
  
"Except 26E," Quistis said, with a slight laugh.  
  
"I'd like to say, though... if you want something to match saving the world..."  
  
Xu, eloquent Faculty Advisor, always picked to write Cid's speeches for him (which he never read beforehand and always filled with ad-lib) found she was struck dumb. Quistis didn't say anything, didn't hurry her.  
  
"...well, I think you match that every day," Xu muttered, dry-mouthed.  
  
Quistis stared for a moment.  
  
"And if you want me to, I will apply to Cid to be deployed with you to White SeeD. In fact, I _want_ you to let me apply to Cid, because I want to go with you. And..."  
  
Xu reached out again, much slower than on the Ragnarok - or maybe that was a trick of perception, Time Compression in miniature - and kissed Quistis. Quistis touched Xu's hand, leaning into her, completely unsurprised. No falling stars passed overhead, no fireworks burst in the sky, no flowers bloomed. It was probably better that way.  
  
"...and I'm going to kiss you now," Xu said, pulling away.  
  
"I imagined you would," Quistis replied, with a slight smile.  
  
The band finished the _Waltz For The Moon_ with a flourish of strings, and a young singer stepped up to a microphone, crooning out the first few lines of _Eyes On Me_ as the band played behind her.  
  
"Would you like to dance?" Quistis asked Xu, gesturing half-heartedly at the dance floor.  
  
_We could flourish ourselves in front of everyone, as Rinoa talks about how this is her and Squall's song, and the Faculty look down on us and probably try to find a way to demote us for it. Or, on the other hand..._  
  
"Why don't we go down to Balamb?" Xu replied. "We could walk down to the seashore, or have a drink together at a cafe, or..." She paused. "Or we could take a train to Timber and join the Forest Mongeese."  
  
Quistis smiled, and took Xu's hand in hers. "That sounds wonderful," she said.  
  
_Besides, Quistis is taller than me now, and I never taught her to lead._  
  
There were no falling stars, or fireworks, or flowers. They drew attention as they passed, glances and stares, and they neither noticed nor cared. Arm-in-arm, in formal SeeD uniforms, Xu and Quistis left the SeeD ball like heroes.  
  


end


End file.
